Immorality of Human Flight

The philosophers of King Charles's reign were busy in finding out the art of flying. The famous Bishop Wilkins was so confident of success in it, that he says he does not question but in the next age it will be as usual to hear a man call for his wings when he is going a journey, as it is now to call for his boots. The humour so prevailed among the virtuosos of this reign, that they were actually making parties to go up to the moon together, and were more put to it in their thoughts how to meet with accommodations by the way, than how to get thither.(...) I shall present my reader with the following letter from an artist, who is now taken up with this invention, and conceals his true name under that of Dædalus.

“MR. IRONSIDE,

Knowing that you are a great encourager of ingenuity, I think fit to acquaint you, that I have made a considerable progress in the art of flying. I flutter about my room two or three hours in a morning, and when my wings are on, can go above an hundred yards at a hop, step, and jump. I can fiy already as well as a Turkey-cock, and improve every day. If I proceed as I have begun, I intend to give the world a proof of my proficiency in this art. Upon the next public thanksgiving-day, it is my design to sit astride the dragon upon Bow steeple, from whence, after the first discharge of the Tower guns, I intend to mount into the air, fly over Fleet Street, and pitch upon the May-pole in the Strand. From thence, by a gradual descent, I shall make the best of my way for St. James's Park, and light upon the ground near Rosamond's pond. This, I doubt not, will convince the world that I am no pretender; but before I set out, I shall desire to have a patent for making of wings, and that none shall presume to fly under pain of death, with wings of any other man's making. I intend to work for the court myself, and will have journeymen under me to furnish the rest of the nation. I likewise desire, that I may have the sole teaching of persons of quality, in which I shall spare neither time nor pains till I have made them as expert as myself. I will fly with the women upon my back for the first fortnight. I shall appear at the next masquerade, dressed up in my feathers and plumage like an Indian prince, that the quality may see how pretty they will look in their travelling habits. You know, sir, there is an unaccountable prejudice to projectors of all kinds, for which reason, when I talk of practising to fly, silly people think me an owl for my pains; but, sir, you know better things. I need not enumerate to you the benefits which will accrue to the public from this invention, as how the roads of England will be saved when we travel through these new high-ways, and how all familyaccounts will be lessened in the article of coaches and horses. I need not mention posts and packet-boats, with many other conveniences of life, which will be supplied this way. In short, sir, when mankind are in possession of this art, they will be able to do more business in threescore and ten years, than they could do in a thousand by the methods now in use. I therefore recommend myself and art to your patronage, and am,

“ Your most humble servant."

I have fully considered the project of these our modern Dædalists, and am resolved so far to discourage it, as to prevent any person from flying in my time. It would fill the world with innumerable immoralities, and give such occasions for intrigues as people cannot meet with who have nothing but legs to carry them. You should have a couple of lovers make a midnight assignation upon the top of the monument, and see the cupola of St. Paul's covered with both sexes like the outside of a pigeon-house. Nothing would be more frequent than to see a beau flying in at a garret window, or a gallant giving chase to his mistress, like a hawk after a lark. There would be no walking in a shady wood without springing a covey of toasts. The poor husband could not dream what was doing over bis head: if he were jealous, indeed, he might clip his wife's wings, but what would this avail when there were flocks of whore-masters perpetually hovering over his house ? What concern would the father of a family be in all the time his daughter was upon the wing! every heiress must have an old woman flying at her heels. In short, the whole air would be full of this kind of gibier, as the French call it. I do allow, with my correspondent, that there would be much more business done than there is at present. However, should he apply for such a patent as he speaks of, I question not but there would be more petitions out of the city against it, than ever yet appeared against any other monopoly whatsoever. Every tradesman that cannot keep his wife à coach could keep 'her a pair of wings, and there is no doubt but she would be every morning and evening taking the air with them.

I have here only considered the ill consequences of this invention in the influences it would have on love affairs : I have many more objections to make on other accounts; but these I shall defer publishing till I see my friend astride the dragon.

Addison, The Guardian, Monday, July 20th, 1713

Les vespertillos sélénites

La lune est-elle habitée? C'est ce qu'on ignore, mais on peut affirmer que, s'il y existe des êtres organisés, ils sont bien différents de ceux de la terre, puisqu'ils doivent vivre sans air et sans eau. Ils seraient en outre d'une bien petite dimension : un homme de cinquante centimètres serait un

géant.

Mais de ce que nous ne pouvons voir les habitants de la lune, ni comprendre leur organisation , on ne peut conclure qu'il n'y ait point d'êtres organisés sur ce globe; on peut même admettre que, s'il y en a, nous les verrons un jour. Nous avons dit qu'à l'aide du télescope d'Herschel, la lune

nous apparaît comme si nous n'en étions éloignés que de seize lieues; vienne maintenant un homme de génie qui centuple la puissance de ce télescope , et nous verrons la lune comme si nous n'en étions qu'à six cent quarante mètres ; puisque le progrès continue, il n'y aura plus sur ce globe rien de caché pour nous.

Ces probabilités ont fait, il y a quinze à seize ans, le succès d'une des plus audacieuses mystifications qu'on puisse imaginer. Quelques astronomes anglais étaient partis depuis

plus de dix mois pour le cap de Bonne-Espérance, emportant des instruments d'une grande perfection , pour faire des expériences , lorsque parut à Londres un mémoire attribué

au chef de cette expédition, qui révélait des merveilles : il avait vu les habitants de la lune, qu'il appelait Vespertillos ; c'était des hommes comme nous, plus petits, mais d'une perfection presque divine; ils avaient des ailes et ils s'élançaient à volonté dans l'espace.... Telle était la puissance des instruments, que l'heureux observateur avait pu étudier leurs mœurs : il avait vu des maris mollement étendus près de leurs épouses sur le gazon verdoyant , tandis qu'à leurs pieds

se jouaient des enfants d'une beauté plus qu'angélique.

L'observateur avait vu encore une foule d'autres choses que nous ne saurions dire, et qui, au premier aspect, semblaient très-vraisemblables; car, s'il est une vérité que l'on doive proclamer et contre laquelle ne puissent rien les remparts de bois de la vieille Angleterre, comme ils disent de l'autre côté de la Manche, c'est qu'un Anglais qui ment est toujours un des plus habiles menteurs du monde.

Dieu sait le bruit que fit la découverte ! Le mémoire fut traduit dans toutes les langues connues; on en publia à Paris quatorze éditions en six semaines. On ne parlait que des vespertillos, et les lionnes de ce temps commencèrent à trouver ridicule que le gouvernement ne fit rien pour tenter

d'acclimater chez nous d'aussi adorables créatures. En même temps on critiquait les savants de l'Observatoire de Paris. — L'État paye ces gens-là , disait-on ; il les paye même fort cher, et ils dorment!... Ce n'est pas eux. qui auraient découvert les vespertillos !

Le plus drôle de l'affaire, c'est que ces savants étaient tout honteux; on leur criait de toutes parts : Vespertillos! Ce mot était un poignard qu'ils avaient incessamment sur la gorge. Nous disons ce mot; quant à la cose, ils s'aveuglaient à la chercher, et ils ne la trouvaient point. Les infortunés seraient morts à la peine , si les astronomes anglais n'étaient enfin revenus du cap de Bonne-Espérance ; ils s'empressèrent de démentir les hâbleurs qui avaient si bien exploité la crédulité publique; mais par malheur, il n'est pas aussi facile de détruire une erreur de ce genre que de

l'implanter dans l'esprit du peuple , et aujourd'hui encore il existe des gens qui croient à l'existence des vespertillos.

Comte Foelix, Astronomie des dames, Paris, Martinon, 1858, p. 44-45